The SSX Tricky Murders
by hello desperado
Summary: When the boarders from SSX Tricky gather at a hotel, some start getting killed. Mixing great dialogue from Elise, Eddie, Kaori, Psymon & the rest, along with a Garibaldi race, accusations and more, you won't even CARE who the killer is. COMPLETE!
1. Ride That Bronco Right To Hell

THE SSX TRICKY MURDERS  
  
[* CHAPTER 01 *]  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE -- Yes, this is a play. My other fanfics will all be regular stories though.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
(All 12 of the boarders are in a hotel lobby, they are stopped at a remote hotel in the Swiss Alps for a venue they've been racing on.)  
  
Eddie: Damn, it's cold in here!  
  
Luther: No it's not, you dang little wimp.  
  
Mac: Are you gonna take that from him? I'd give him a Mac smackdown!  
  
Elise: Mac, shut the hell up. Please.  
  
Eddie: Yeah, come on Luther. I'll give you a...uh...Eddie smackdown.  
  
Mac: BOO! That sucks!  
  
Kaori: Mac, stop it, before you get in trouble. *giggle*  
  
Psymon: Kaori giving advice? But you're CRAZY!  
  
Kaori: No I'm not! Stop saying that! Ugggh! *giggle*  
  
Moby: Stop arguing, someone give Eddie a coat or something.  
  
Elise: (hands Eddie her coat) Sure. Eddie, you can have mine.  
  
Eddie: Thanks babe! I owe you one.  
  
Brodi: Elise should be in Nirvana by now, so she won't WANT anything from you.  
  
Moby: Brodi, just stop.  
  
Seeiah: Yeah, forreal. Your good nature makes me uncomfortable, man!  
  
Brodi: (stops meditating) What'd you say?  
  
Luther: Mac said he was gonna give you a "Mac smackdown!"  
  
Mac: (jumps up from his seat) Hey, fatty, wanna say that to my face?  
  
Zoe: Mac, chill out. Just chill the hell out.  
  
Mac: You tellin' me what to do, Zoe?  
  
Zoe: You're damn right I am. Sit your ass down and just settle down.  
  
Brodi: The best way to calm down is to-  
  
Eddie: Brodi, STOP!  
  
Psymon: God, even prison was better than this crap.  
  
Elise: I doubt it.  
  
(The lights flicker)  
  
Marisol: (jolts) What was that?!  
  
Eddie: I dunno! Elise, hold me! And don't ever let go!  
  
Elise: (holds Eddie) Um...ok.  
  
Kaori: We're all gonna die! And I haven't even bought that new anime yet. *giggle*  
  
Luther: I haven't even gotten a dandy little Mac Smackdown, doggon it.  
  
Marisol: I haven't even won a race yet!  
  
Moby: I haven't even tried green tea!  
  
Elise: You guys are just overreacting.  
  
(The lights go out. Everyone screams.)  
  
Seeiah: Oh damn! What was that?!  
  
Moby: Is everybody ok?  
  
Zoe: I'm fine, but Luther's grabbing my boobs.  
  
Elise: Oh whoops, that's me, sorry Zoe.  
  
Brodi: You must become one with the darkness, it will-  
  
Mac: SHUT UP!  
  
Eddie: I'm right here, nice & comfy. Niiiice and comfy.  
  
Moby: Ok, that's everybody important.  
  
Psymon: I'm not important? TAKE IT BACK!  
  
(The lights turn back on)  
  
Kaori: Oh my god! HE'S DEAD! *giggle*  
  
(Luther is lying next to Kaori and JP, stabbed in the chest.)  
  
Mac: Hell yeah! WAIT! Someone killed him!  
  
Eddie: Yeah, it was probably you!  
  
Brodi: Maybe if Luther became one with the darkness-  
  
Elise: Well, he didn't. And now he's dead.  
  
Moby: And one of us killed him.  
  
Elise: How can you be sure it was one of us?  
  
Psymon: (slaps hands on knees) Obviously, Elise! Come on now.  
  
Zoe: Well, who was it?  
  
Moby: I don't think they're just going to admit it right here.  
  
Mac: It wasn't me! I promise that, yo. I don't kill. I kill with my mad rhymes, dawg!  
  
Seeiah: (clears throat) Ahem.  
  
Mac: Oh, sorry.  
  
Kaori: (drinks some water) I think it was Eddie. *giggle*  
  
Eddie: WHAT?! Why would it be me?! It was probably YOU!  
  
Psymon: It wasn't Kaori. She's not a good killer, I know that for a fact.  
  
Elise: Yeah Psymon, but you are! You've killed before.  
  
(The others all look at Kaori, Psymon & Eddie)  
  
Seeiah: Kaori, you were sitting right next to him.  
  
Moby: Psymon's killed before.  
  
JP: Yez, I am pizzed! Luther iz dead.  
  
Seeiah: I think we've established that, dumbass.  
  
Brodi: Seeiah, you need more meditation-  
  
Seeiah: Oh shut the hell up! (grabs Kaori's water and throws it at Brodi)  
  
Mac: Geez, this is real freakin successful.  
  
Elise: I'm tired. Let's go to sleep.  
  
Zoe: We'll find out who did it tommorrow.  
  
(Everyone except for Kaori & Mac go up to their rooms)  
  
Kaori: You don't think it was me, right?!  
  
Mac: Naw, naw. You wouldn't do that.  
  
Kaori: I wouldn't! I'm so sad!  
  
Mac: Well, he's dead. Still fat, and dead. And someone killed him.  
  
Kaori: Um...duh. *giggle* 


	2. The Garibaldi Smackdown

[* CHAPTER 02 *]  
  
RECAP -- The boarders arrived at the hotel and were sitting in the hotel lobby, just arguing and talking, as usual. There was conflict between Mac & Luther, and Eddie & Elise had gotten involved. The lights went out, and Kaori noticed that Luther was stabbed in the chest, he was dead. Psymon and Kaori are thrown to the top of the suspect list, along with Mac & Eddie. The boarders go to sleep, thinking they can figure it out tommorrow.   
  
_________________________________________  
  
(The boarders are all back in the lobby early the next morning. Some of them are having breakfast and some of them are still sleeping. They are trying to figure out who killed Luther.)  
  
Rahzel: (enters the room) HEY GUYS! It's race day!  
  
Elise: Oh damn, I totally forgot.  
  
Moby: Yeah mate, we've been so distracted with...  
  
Rahzel: Hey Zoe, where's Luther? Still sleeping?  
  
Zoe: Um...Luther...he's um...dead.  
  
Rahzel: What do you mean?! He can't be dead!  
  
Eddie: Well, he is. Someone killed him. It wasn't me!  
  
Rahzel: Hey, Afro Thunder, calm down. (sits down next to Psymon)  
  
Elise: You want us to explain?  
  
Psymon: Explain what- that the little Japanese bitch killed him?  
  
Kaori: It wasn't me! I couldn't kill Luther! *giggle*  
  
Rahzel: Kaori, was it you?!  
  
Kaori: You dumb fatass, I just SAID it wasn't! Were you listening? *giggle*  
  
Rahzel: What? Sorry, I wasn't listening.  
  
Kaori: Nevermind.  
  
Brodi: Is the race going to be cancelled? (meditates)  
  
Mac: Hell no, man! I gots to win. Forreal.  
  
Seeiah: (clears throat) Ahem! White.  
  
Mac: Sorry homegirl, I keep forgetting, yo.  
  
Elise: You two just pipe down.  
  
Rahzel: No, the race won't be cancelled, Brodi. We all know Luther was the 11th best anyway.  
  
Eddie: Who's the worst? Oh yeah...  
  
Zoe: It's pretty obvious.  
  
Marisol: (looks around) Why are you all looking at me?! I thought I was 10th!  
  
JP: No, I am 10th. Don't take my position.  
  
Elise: (smirks) Yeah, Marisol, YOU'RE 12th. 'Cause you suck. You can never beat me.  
  
Rahzel: Ok guys, that's enough. Eddie, get your hand outta there. Now we must race.  
  
Moby: All 11 of us?  
  
Rahzel: Uh, yeah, Moby. All 11 of you. Not just 10 of you. All 11. Got that?  
  
Moby: (shakes head) No need to be sarcastic, mate.  
  
Rahzel: I'm sorry, ok?! LaQuisha left me last night. I'm a little cranky.  
  
Mac: Yo, I bet I would know who LaQuisha was.  
  
Seeiah: Yeah right, white boy!  
  
Rahzel: LaQuisha is my girlfriend. She used to live in Ohio. She's tall.  
  
Seeiah: LaQuisha Mills?!  
  
Rahzel: Yep, that's her!  
  
Seeiah: Dayum, that girl is my cousin! Well, third cousin. You know how it is.  
  
Mac: (looks confused) What? I can't believe I don't know her...  
  
Eddie: Ok, I'm ready to like, what's-it-called...  
  
Zoe: Race?  
  
Eddie: Yeah, that's right...um...uh...  
  
Zoe: My name's Zoe.  
  
Eddie: (slaps his forehead) Oh yeah. My bad, Zelda.  
  
Kaori: Psymon, leave me alone!  
  
Elise: Didn't you learn anything from R. Kelly, Psymon?!  
  
Rahzel: Enough, enough. Let's get to Garibaldi.  
  
Mac: Again?!  
  
Psymon: Dude, we were just there. Like two days ago.  
  
Moby: I won!  
  
Marisol: I came in last.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
Garibaldi was an exciting race, even due to Luther's murder still on a couple of their minds. The others pretty much forgot. Elise, Moby & Zoe got off to a great start, while JP, Brodi & Marisol struggled early on. With some knockdowns, Psymon & Mac both did impressive Ubertricks off the first jump and landed in 1st and 2nd, with Elise on their tail. Seeiah was pushed down early on by Eddie, Kaori & Mac, and accidentally even Marisol. But the anger and her new outfit just fueled her to do better. Kaori pulled off some great tricks, and JP did the Headspin 2 Poseur halfway through. Eddie also pulled off the Worm. Psymon was still in the lead, but the white boy Mac knocked him down and dropped Psymon into the middle of the pack. Elise silently crept up on Mac though. She took control on the last jump and took advantage of Mac falling while trying to do a 180 FS Rodeo in the air.   
  
Elise came in first, followed by Mac in second, Moby in third, Zoe in fourth and Seeiah in fifth. About ten or fifteen seconds later, Kaori came in sixth trying to push down JP, who came in seventh, and was followed by Brodi in eighth. A few seconds later, Marisol and Psymon were racing hard, but Marisol knocked Psymon down, but she took herself out with him. Luckily she got up right away and came in ninth, with Psymon finishing about fifteen seconds after her in last.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
(All the boarders are in the winner's circle for Garibaldi, but Rahzel is still in the booth at the beginning of the course.)  
  
Elise: Good race, Mac. Too bad it wasn't good enough, you little wannabe!  
  
Mac: (twitches) Ya know, yo, if you weren't so hot, I'd give you a smackdown.  
  
Eddie: Watch what you say, little man.  
  
Mac: Little man? And don't tell what to do, forreal.  
  
Eddie: (raises his eyebrows) I'll tell you whatever I like, want.  
  
Elise: Mac, last person you said you wanted to give a smackdown to ended up dead.  
  
Mac: So? Is that bad?  
  
Elise: Uh, yeah. Kinda. Considering it's obvious I've got too much to live for!  
  
Mac: Yeah, whatever, Elise. One race doesn't make a big freaking difference.  
  
Eddie: (in a baby voice) Aww, is Mackenzie mad that he losty wosty?  
  
Mac: (punches Eddie) Shut up, Eddie. Before you regret it. Um, forreal.  
  
Elise: Mac, chill out! Don't get your panties in a twist, man.  
  
Eddie: Yeah, who forgot to take their tranquilizers this morning, huh?  
  
Elise: Shit! I knew I forgot something!  
  
Mac: (is confused) What? That I kill-I mean, that Luther got killed?  
  
Eddie: No, she was talking about the tranquilizers. I think Marisol forgot, too.  
  
Elise: That dumb broad would forget to put her clothes on if she wasn't so ugly when she's naked.  
  
Mac: (turns around; yells) Hey Marisol! Elise is talking smack! Forreal!  
  
Elise: (grabs Mac in a chokehold) Listen, you little twerp, no more shit. You got me?  
  
Mac: (out of breath) NO!  
  
Elise: Wrong answer, little man! (punches Mac in the stomach)  
  
(A few feet away, Moby, Zoe & Brodi are discussing the murders.)  
  
Brodi: Karma will come back to haunt whoever killed Luther. I can feel it.  
  
Zoe: Well, Brodi, I can feel something too.  
  
Brodi: (lights up) Really?! Yes, I'm NOT alone! Take that, Dr. Nelson.  
  
Zoe: Um, no. I feel the need to tell you to shut the hell up.  
  
Moby: I feel the need to agree!  
  
Brodi: I feel the need to be quiet for a minute!  
  
Zoe: Good. So, Mobes, you think the killer will strike again?  
  
Moby: Hopefully not, mate. I don't want to see anyone else die.  
  
Zoe: What about Marisol?  
  
Moby: (shrugs) Yeah mate, I guess I wouldn't mind if she died.  
  
Brodi: (gasps) That's an awful thing to say, Moby.  
  
Zoe: Brodi, shut up. We've heard enough from you.  
  
(Another few feet away, Kaori & Psymon are arguing about the race. Psymon grabbed Kaori's backpack and in response, Kaori took Psymon's necklace. They are just hiding them from each other. Seeiah & Marisol are putting on make-up and making fun of Elise's new pair of jeans. JP is flirting with a girl from the stands. Elise and Eddie moved away from Mac, and Mac is still clutching his stomach from the blow Elise gave him.) 


	3. Buddha Can't Save Your Ass Now

[* CHAPTER 03 *]  
  
RECAP -- Rahzel visits the boarders and tells them that there's a race tommorrow, and even though he finds out about Luther's death from Zoe, he still continues with the race. Rahzel tells the group about his troubles with his girlfriend LaQuisha, who is related to Seeiah. At Garibaldi, Elise won the race, with Mac & Moby right behind her. After the race, Mac is being a sore loser and rude to Eddie & Elise, so Elise punches him in the stomach, while Zoe, Moby & Brodi discuss Luther's murder. Elise & Eddie leave Mac alone, and Mac still is holding his stomach from the pain.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
(The boarders are back at the hotel. Psymon is outside in the snow, Marisol is sleeping, Mac & Kaori are drinking some hot cocoa in the dining room, Moby & Zoe are reading a snowboarding magazine on the couch in the lobby, and everyone else is in their rooms, including Eddie & Elise.)  
  
Eddie: You think another murder will go down tonight, babe?  
  
Elise: (shrugs) Hopefully. Marisol's still pissing me off.  
  
Eddie: Yeah, Luther wasn't the best racer either.  
  
Elise: And ya know what, Eddie?  
  
Eddie: What's that, Elise?  
  
Elise: I wouldn't put it past our cute little Kaori to kill someone.  
  
Eddie: (raises his eyebrows) Doesn't Kaori get squeamish with, like, blood?  
  
Elise: (thinks hard) Um...I think so. But Luther was killed in the dark!  
  
Eddie: Oh yeah. Good, like, point.  
  
(Psymon is outside in the snow still, but Kaori & Mac decided to go join him.)  
  
Psymon: (picks up some snow & eats it; sees Kaori, Mac) HEY, what are you losers doing here?  
  
Kaori: Konichiwa to you too. Psymon, we can be here if we want. *giggle*  
  
Mac: Yeah, forreal man, step off!  
  
Psymon: (looks confused) Alright... (throws snowball at Kaori)  
  
Kaori: (falls over, flails in the snow like a fish) I'm melting! *giggle*  
  
Psymon: What the hell?  
  
Mac: Hey man! You BETTER say that snowball slipped. (helps Kaori up)  
  
Psymon: (throws snowball at Mac) No... but that one did.  
  
Kaori: Psymon, you make my bones sad! *giggle, cry*  
  
Psymon: And you make Japan look sad. You murderer! Muahaha.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
(Everyone has met at the lobby later that night for a group meeting. Elise & Eddie are sitting on the biggest couch, with Brodi. Marisol is trying to sleep in a recliner & JP is trying to fix his cell phone. Psymon is elbowing Kaori, who's sitting next to Mac.)  
  
Zoe: (casually) SO! Anyone wanna admit to killing our fatass friend Luther?  
  
Elise: (sees Luther's body next to her) Oh my god! His body's still here.  
  
Seeiah: That's kinda gross. Whoo! I rule!  
  
Mac: I think it's kinda smelling...worse than Luther when he was alive, haha.  
  
Moby: Here, Brodi, mate, let's go dispose of this heap of fat.  
  
Brodi: Ok. This is good karma for me. (him & Moby leave with Luther's body)  
  
Eddie: (grabs Elise's hand and looks at her watch) In 2 minutes, it'll be the same time Luther got, like, killed last night!  
  
JP: Really? How fazzinating. (yawns)  
  
Elise: (sneers at JP) He was YOUR friend, you don't even care!  
  
JP: Shit happenzz, my dear.  
  
Mac: Well... Luther WAS shit!  
  
Seeiah: (stops doing the disco) Yeah, but you can't just "happen"...  
  
Elise: I agree with our soul sista here. Mac, you're a dumbass.  
  
Mac: What'd you say, yo? You ready for a smackdown?  
  
Elise: (laughs) Um, Mac, you mean a smackdown from ME, right?  
  
Mac: Oh yeah, I forgot. (clutches stomach)  
  
Zoe: Elise, stop provoking him. We don't need another murder on our hands.  
  
Eddie: Zelda, don't tell Elise what, like, to do!  
  
Moby: (enters again with Brodi, cleaning his hands) Alright mates, all taken care of!  
  
Seeiah: So, what do we do? Just wait for someone else to get killed?  
  
Kaori: Yeah, I think. (elbows Psymon) *giggle*  
  
Psymon: (elbows Kaori) Pretty much!  
  
Seeiah: (picks up a magazine) Aight, cool... I rule! Seeiah in da house!  
  
(The lights flicker.)  
  
Kaori: (screams) It's happening again! AHH! NOO! *giggle*  
  
Brodi: Kaori, calm down. You are safe with Buddha.  
  
Mac: Yeah, but Brodi, you're not safe from a Mac Smackdown!  
  
Elise: (moans) Mac, damn, just give it a rest.  
  
Zoe: Is everyone except for Eddie ok?  
  
Eddie: Zelda, that was, like, rude!  
  
Psymon: (laughs manically) I know I'm ok.  
  
Kaori: I'm ok, besides the fact that Psymon's making his way down my pants! *giggle*  
  
Seeiah: (laughs) Whoops, sorry, that was me.  
  
Kaori: You're still doing it! Ew!  
  
Seeiah: I know I am.  
  
Marisol: Little girl, big air!  
  
(The lights go out, everyone screams.)  
  
Kaori: Wow, I'm popular! I've got six hands all over me. *giggle*  
  
Moby: Mates, is everyone safe?  
  
Zoe: I am, you are, Kaori is.  
  
Eddie: Me & Elise are fine!  
  
Elise: Yeah, we're fine. Please, make Marisol be the next victim!  
  
Eddie: No thinking, like, aloud, babe! Man, I would kill Zelda and Brodi if I could...  
  
Zoe: (clears throat) Excuse me?!  
  
(The lights turn back on)  
  
Elise: Oh my god! (sees Brodi's body, stabbed in the chest) Brodi's dead! Someone killed him! Someone murdered him! He's dead!  
  
Seeiah: (throws magazine at Elise) Um, yeah bitch, we get the point.  
  
Moby: Nice one, Eddie. You said you wanted to kill Brodi.  
  
Mac: (nods, takes hands off of Kaori) Yeah, forreal! It musta been you.  
  
Zoe: Well, whatever, we're not going to solve this tonight.  
  
JP: Yezz, we should all juzzt get our beauty zzleep.   
  
Eddie: Moby, like, I didn't kill Brodi.  
  
Kaori: Well, let's go to bed. (knife falls out of pocket)  
  
Moby: (sees the knife) Bloody hell! It was Kaori!  
  
Psymon: Dude, Moby, we're um, talking about it TOMMORROW, not tonight!  
  
Elise: Seeiah, you bitch! I have a papercut on my eye!  
  
(Everyone slowly gets up and goes to their rooms, tired, but Seeiah stays behind.)  
  
Seeiah: (looks at Brodi's body) I'm sorry, Brodi. I always wanted to have hot, black sex with your meditating ass. But I guess now that can't happen, right? Well, at least we all know you're probably hangin' out with that fatass Buddha, cashing in all your karma points for some folding chair or something. You know how it is. I rule! Seeiah rules! Aight, I'm more tired than R. Kelly after a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese's. Maybe I should throw your body away or some shit like that...nah. Not tonight. (leaves) 


	4. Soul Sista's Got An Idea

[* CHAPTER 04 *]  
  
RECAP -- Eddie & Elise talk about how they think Kaori could be the killer, and meanwhile, Kaori & Mac are getting snowballs thrown at them outside from Psymon. Then, the whole group meets in the lobby later that night. Eddie realizes it's the same time that Luther got killed the night before, and Elise is fascinated that JP doesn't even care about Luther's murder. The lights go out, and Psymon, Seeiah & Mac all hold on tight to Kaori. When the lights are turned back on, Brodi is dead. The group doesn't even bother discussing it, they go straight up to their rooms to sleep. Seeiah stays behind and tells the dead body of Brodi that she wanted to have sex with him, and says goodbye.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
(The next morning, Zoe & Moby are in their room, noticing Brodi's absence.)  
  
Zoe: (shakes her head) Dude. I can't believe this.  
  
Moby: I know, it's awful, mate. Brodi was a good man.  
  
Zoe: No, not that! I had NO idea Ally McBeal got cancelled!  
  
Moby: (laughs) Oh, well that's old news!  
  
Zoe: Yeah, apparently. And I agree about the Brodi thing. I don't understand why HE was killed.  
  
Moby: Hmm...I thought maybe Seeiah or Mac would be killed instead?  
  
Zoe: Seeiah's probably next, except if the killer's Marisol or something, haha!  
  
Moby: Everyone thinks Kaori is the one who killed them, mate.  
  
Zoe: Do you think that too, Mobes?  
  
Moby: No, I don't. I really don't, mate.  
  
Zoe: (rubs her eyes) This whole situation is messed up. I don't know what the hell to think!  
  
_________________________________________  
  
(Seeiah & Marisol are in their room, getting dressed. JP knocks on the door, waits until they're done, and then they let him in.)  
  
Marisol: Ok, ex-boyfriend, why the hell are you here, chico?  
  
JP: No reason. Want to keep moi company?  
  
Seeiah: (smirks) There's ya reason, girl. He wants to fuck ya. Hey, where's Kaori?  
  
JP: Seeiah, that izz wrong. I want no sex from Marisol.  
  
Marisol: You don't?! Boy you are missing out! You know you want to tap this...again!  
  
Seeiah: (groans) Where the fuck is Kaori?!  
  
Marisol: (shrugs, takes out hair curlers) No idea, chica. Go ask Mac.  
  
Seeiah: Hell no! He'd be all like, "Girl you know, forreal, I don't know, yo."  
  
Marisol: Well since he doesn't know, ask Psymon.  
  
Seeiah: (moans & then laughs) Girl, not literally. Hey, does my hair look good?  
  
JP: It'zz never looked better, ooh la la.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
(The whole group except for Marisol is back in the lobby, waiting for Rahzel to arrive. Elise & Eddie are arguing with Seeiah, Zoe is talking with Psymon and Moby is eating a bagel. Mac is playing cards with Kaori on the floor, and JP is polishing his shoes.)  
  
Rahzel: (enters, smiling) Hey guys!  
  
Zoe: Good morning Rahzel.  
  
Moby: Well mate, you're happy today!  
  
Seeiah: Did you clear things up with mah cousin?  
  
Mac: Hey Rahzzy, what's up, yo.  
  
Rahzel: (looks around, face drops) Oh my god! Brodi & someone else are dead!  
  
Elise: (chuckles) You mean that Latino lamebrain Marisol? That bitch is in the bathroom.  
  
Rahzel: Oh yes, she's always so easy to forget...what about Buddha Brodi?  
  
Kaori: (puts some cards down) Um...well...Brodi's dead! *giggle*  
  
Rahzel: You've gotta be kidding me! Why do you guys kill people so much?!  
  
Psymon: (shrugs) Well, I put it on my application when I signed up for SSX...  
  
Seeiah: Me too.  
  
Mac: I did too, but I just kill with my rhymes, yo! My rhymes are hot!  
  
Zoe: Mac, this is no laughing matter. People are dying and you're talking about rapping.  
  
Moby: (puts his bagel down) Come on, you little git, show some respect.  
  
Elise: (sees Brodi's body next to her) Oh my god! Why do I always sit next to dead people?!  
  
Psymon: Dude, Seeiah, I thought you dumped it.  
  
Seeiah: No, I didn't dump it. In that coat? Rahzel, you know LaQuisha would have a fit.  
  
Rahzel: (moans) Seeiah, let's not talk about that. (pops in some Prozac)  
  
Kaori: Rahzel, could I please have some of that? *giggle*  
  
Eddie: Rahzel doesn't, like, have Prozac coming out the ying-yang just for you, Kaori.  
  
JP: I do, however. Here little girl, take mine. Thank moi. (gives Kaori Prozac)  
  
Mac: She doesn't have to thank you, Frenchy. Leave her alone.  
  
Seeiah: (scowls) Is someone messing with my wet dream?! Uh, just kidding.  
  
Zoe: So, Rahzel, was there supposed to be an event today?  
  
Rahzel: (nods, takes out his notebook) Yeah, there was.  
  
Moby: Where? Is it going to be cancelled, mate?  
  
Rahzel: Yeah, I'd say so, Moby. Showoff at Garibaldi. No rude comments, PLEASE.  
  
Eddie: (perks up) Hey, I've always liked Garibaldi! That track rules.  
  
Seeiah: That track doesn't rule, I rule!  
  
Rahzel: As far as I can say, every event will be cancelled.  
  
Elise: WHAT?! The whole circuit?! Please don't make me go back to Canada!  
  
Psymon: (stops picking his hair) Dude, that is so unfair. (laughs)  
  
Mac: Yo Rahzel, you ready for a Mac smackdown, 'cause I'll-  
  
Elise: Mac, if you give Rahzel a "smackdown", you'll hear about it from me.  
  
Mac: (afraid) Alright, alright, yo! I was just kidding anyways.  
  
Rahzel: Well, there IS one way the events won't be cancelled.  
  
Moby: What's that?  
  
Elise: PLEASE tell us!  
  
Rahzel: If one of you idiots confesses to the killings, the tour will be on.  
  
Zoe: (jumps up happily) Ok, you heard the man, so the jackass who kiled Luther & Brodi can admit to it!  
  
Moby: I don't think it's going to be that easy, mate.  
  
Eddie: Ok, so who wants the circuit back? I know, like, I do.  
  
Kaori: (cuddles with her teddy bear) I do! And Mac-cun does! *giggle*  
  
Psymon: I do, but not with you losers! Haha.  
  
Rahzel: Well, I'm gonna get going. I'll talk to you ex-SSX'ers tommorrow. (sighs & leaves)  
  
Eddie: Someone just admit, like, to it!  
  
Psymon: Haha, dude, just take one for the team like that? You can count me out. That's CRAZY!  
  
Marisol: (enters, putting on her necklace) Chicos & chicas, what's goin' on?  
  
Elise: Just great, the Spanish slut is back in action.  
  
Zoe: Marisol, Rahzel cancelled the circuit for now.  
  
Moby: (nods) And, mate, the only way we can get it back is for someone to admit to the murders.  
  
Marisol: (flips her hair, sits down next to Seeiah) Alright, sounds simple to me.  
  
Eddie: So, who's gonna admit to it?  
  
Seeiah: I'm not...but I KNOW who did it. I'll tell you white people after this long, dramatic pause... (pause)  
  
_________________________________________  
  
Who killed Luther & Brodi? Does Seeiah even know what the hell she's talking about? Will Kaori end up being the murderer? Or will it be her buddy Mac? Eddie? Psymon? Elise? Will Rahzel ever make up with LaQuisha? Find out next time in the finale... 


	5. The Murderer Is Revealed!

[* CHAPTER 05 *]  
  
RECAP -- Zoe & Moby are frustrated with the murders. JP visits Marisol & Seeiah in their room, and Seeiah thinks he's there to rekindle his relationship with Marisol, but Seeiah apparently wants to start her own with Kaori...then, all the boarders gather in the lobby later in the morning to wait for Rahzel. Rahzel is informed of Brodi's murder, and Rahzel tells them all that the circuit will be cancelled unless someone confesses to the murders. Psymon & Elise want the circuit back, but they will not admit to the murders. When Rahzel leaves, Seeiah tells the group she knows who the killer is.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
(All the boarders are in the lobby. It is late in the morning, Rahzel has just left. Seeiah is going to tell who the murderer is after a long, dramatic pause. Everyone is leaning forward to hear, except for Eddie, who is picking at his afro.)  
  
Mac: (looks around) Is the pause over yet, yo?  
  
Seeiah: (laughs) No, not yet, white boy. Be patient.  
  
Moby: (sneers and falls back into the couch) This is bullox, mate!  
  
Elise: Yeah, just tell us whatever you "think" you know.  
  
Seeiah: Ok. And Elise, I know what I'm talking about, for once. I rule!  
  
Kaori: (jumps up and down) I'm so excited! *giggle*  
  
Moby: Enough! Come out with it.  
  
Elise: (takes off her shoe and throws it at Seeiah) Hurry up, you bald bitch!  
  
Seeiah: (dodges the flying shoe) Alright, alright... the killer... is my cousin... LaQuisha.  
  
Psymon: (scratches his head) What the hell, dude?  
  
JP: (picks at his nails) Well, I must say, I did not expect that.  
  
Elise: (puts her shoe back on) How do you know it was your crazyass cousin?!  
  
Seeiah: Well, will you all give me the chance to explain?!  
  
Zoe: (nods) Yes, we're listening.  
  
Seeiah: (sits up straight) Ok... My cousin had nothing to do two nights ago, because she had broken up with Rahzel.  
  
Mac: Dawg, we already know that!  
  
Kaori: (puts her hand over Mac's mouth) Mac-cun, quiet! *giggle*  
  
Seeiah: (clears throat) No more interruptions, alright?  
  
Mac: (forces Kaori's hand away) Ok, ok, yo. Uh, continue...  
  
Seeiah: Alright. So LaQuisha knew I was in town. She knew I was in this hotel, so she decided to drop by. Well, she came into this fancyass room right here when all of a sudden, the lights went off.  
  
Moby: Hmm-hmm, perfect timing, mate.  
  
Seeiah: Yeah... so, my cousin's a chef.  
  
Psymon: (scratches his head again) Dude, what the hell does that have to do with anything?!  
  
Elise: Seriously, stop pulling excuses out from your asscrack and keep going.  
  
Seeiah: (takes off Marisol's shoe and throws it at Elise) Bitch shut the fuck up!  
  
Marisol: Girl! That was my best shoe! Ugh, now it's gonna have white people germs on it.  
  
Elise: (dodges the flying shoe) Nice throw, baldy! And Marisol, get over yourself.  
  
Seeiah: (laughs) That was really lame, Miss Pride Of Canada. Will you let me get on with my story or what?!  
  
Eddie: (elbows Elise) Don't, like, worry, she'll be no more trouble.  
  
Seeiah: (slaps her knees) ANYWAY, she's a chef. She was carrying around her knife, she has issues. You know how it is, right Psymon?  
  
Psymon: (laughs crazily) Of course I do!  
  
Seeiah: Yeah, so our insecure LaQuisha was walking by in the dark while we were freaking out, I guess that fatass Luther grabbed her breasts. Whoo! I rule!  
  
Zoe: Man, that's unclassy!  
  
Moby: So, mate, you're saying he deserved it?  
  
Seeiah: (moans) Will both you idiots please shut the FUCK up?  
  
Zoe: (backs away into the couch) Whoa, there's no need to freak out on us!  
  
Seeiah: Well, either you and your British partner either shut your traps, or I'm ending this story! Now what do you think of that, Zoe?  
  
Zoe: Whatever. Keep going. (folds her arms)  
  
Seeiah: Yeah, so LaQuisha grabbed her knife and stabbed Luther, all of this whack stuff happening in the dark! So, she flipped and got her behind outta here before anyone could even tell she was in da house!  
  
Psymon: (looks confused) Uh...even I'm not THAT insane...  
  
Elise: Stabbing random horny men? Wow, Thanksgiving at your house must be a BLAST, huh?  
  
Eddie: (laughs, points at Seeiah) Good one, babe.  
  
Marisol: Hey, Blondie, don't you mess with my girl's family. I'll fuck you up, chica.  
  
Elise: (bursts out laughing) Marisol, the only thing you could "fuck up" would be a good outfit if YOU put it on.  
  
Moby: Elise, relax. It's not worth it, mate.  
  
Mac: (scowls at Elise & Marisol) Yo, I was gettin' into that story! Finish it up, forreal.  
  
Seeiah: (shrugs) Well, I guess there's not much more to tell about how she killed Brodi.  
  
Zoe: Um, Seeiah, I HIGHLY doubt that Brodi would fondle your cousin in the dark...  
  
Mac: Yeah, that's whack!  
  
Kaori: Brodi was nice! *giggle*  
  
Seeiah: Well...I don't know about the Brodi thing...she didn't tell her favorite cousin why she killed him...yet.  
  
Psymon: (tries to look intelligent) Wait, who's her favorite cousin...YOU?! (bursts out laughing)  
  
Moby: Mate, I think that's pretty obvious.  
  
Seeiah: Well, are all you happy? I just ratted out someone from my family, and it feels like shit. I could use some comforting...Kaori?  
  
Kaori: Don't look at me, Seeiah-cun, I'm underage! *giggle*  
  
Zoe: (gets up) I'm gonna go call Razhel! (runs out of the room)  
  
Moby: I'ma call the police, mates. (follows Zoe)  
  
Marisol: (rubs Seeiah's back) It's ok, chica, you did the right thing.  
  
Seeiah: It doesn't feel right...but oh well! That bitch is whack! Killing people & shit.  
  
Elise: Maybe your cousin could fit a couple more killings in?  
  
Marisol: Don't even start with me, chica!   
  
_________________________________________  
  
(Later on in the night, the boarders have gotten word that LaQuisha was arrested and she would be going to jail. Seeiah got to talk to her first, and LaQuisha said she had no reason for killing Brodi at all. Seeiah didn't believe this, but with LaQuisha going into isolation for the rest of her miserable life, nobody would ever know. The boarders were all relaxing and just getting over the events. Seeiah & Marisol were still at the police station; Zoe, Moby & Psymon were all out to dinner; JP was sleeping in his room; Eddie & Elise were watching TV in their room; Kaori & Mac were in the front of the hotel, on a bench.)  
  
Kaori: (hugs Mac) Mac-cun, I'm just so happy you're alive! *giggle*  
  
Mac: (feels awkward, but hugs Kaori back) Yeah...you too.  
  
Kaori: (lets go of Mac, fixes her earmuffs) What's wrong? *giggle*  
  
Mac: Oh, nothing! I'm fine, yo. I just feel bad for Brodi.  
  
Kaori: (pouts) Yes, me too. What about Luther? *giggle*  
  
Mac: Kaori, come on! Yo, who gives a crap about that fatass?  
  
Kaori: (smiles) Not me...all I care about is you! *giggle*  
  
_________________________________________  
  
(When Zoe, Moby & Psymon get back, they meet up with Eddie & Elise in the lobby.)  
  
Zoe: Oh, you two, I just got a call back from Rahzel.  
  
Elise: (adjusts her purse) Really? What'd he say?  
  
Zoe: The circuit's back on! Showoff at Garibaldi tommorrow!  
  
Eddie: (grins at Elise) That's, like, awesome! But just the ten of us?  
  
Moby: Yeah, mate. For the rest of the season...  
  
Zoe: Well, Eddie, it's only 9, actually!  
  
Psymon: (looks confused, once again) What the hell? Am I being dropped? YES!  
  
Elise: (sighs) No...but I wish you were.  
  
Psymon: What was that, Elise?  
  
Elise: (whistles nervously) Oh, nothing.  
  
Eddie: So why is there, like, only 9 of us?  
  
Zoe: Come on, you can't count Marisol as a competitor!  
  
_________________________________________  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE -- In the other fanfics I'll be doing, Brodi & Luther WILL be alive. They just died in this one, but they'll be alive in the rest! And yes, I'm sorry that basically all Psymon said was "What the hell?", I had a hard time developing him in this, haha. Also, Marisol is one of my favorites, but yes, I can admit that she isn't a very good snowboarder. Did you guys also like how Seeiah was the main character? That's a new one, huh? Please review! Thanks. =) 


End file.
